guest post: how to practice gratitude

Hi everyone! It is my absolute pleasure to feature Abigail from Acreage of Grace on the blog today. She is a fellow Nebraskan and small town gal, and someone I have enjoyed getting to know through the wonderful world of blogging. I know so many of us have a list of blogs that we frequent… Acreage of Grace is one of those for me! 

How to Practice Gratitude In Order to Truly Appreciate Blogging

I very recently started a blog (May 10) and I have read so many “How To’s” about gaining success as a blogger.  How to reach 1,000 Followers on Instagram, How to Utilize Pinterest to Increase Pageviews, How to Use Automated Social Media Apps To Increase “Interaction” with Followers. I appreciate EVERY SINGLE ONE of these articles and continue to seek guidance and tools to help me be successful. I would not say my blog is a “success story” just yet, but I am proud of the articles I write and the social media presence that I have. So here is my “How To” article.

Maintaining a blog is hard work people! Deciding to start a blog and then actually DOING IT was a 3-5 year process for me. Which is saying something because I usually just go at things on a whim and see what happens. But for me, my writing is very personal, so it took a lot of encouragement from my friends and family as well as a total lifestyle change for my family before I was comfortable following through on this dream (click HERE to learn more about that process).

“I can write,” I thought. “I love to take pictures.” “I can totally start a blog.” Though it is helpful to enjoy writing and taking photos, blogging is SO much more than that. I have a degree in Public Relations/Advertising and have worked my entire professional career to promote other companies and products. But the amount of promotion I have done for my blog over the last two months has seemed much more time consuming and so much more foreign than what I am used to. Being a “newbie” blogger, there is so much I still don’t know. Because of this I have made some mistakes along the way (I posted a #FollowFriday on a Thursday….embarrassing).

One of my blogging mentors Chrystie V. over at www.livingfornaptime.com lives by the 80/20 rule. You should spend 20% of your time creating content for your blog and 80% of your time promoting it. I am a full-time stay at home mama and a majorly part-time blogger. Finding time to write and promote has taken a great deal of planning on my end and also a great deal of grace from my husband and children. After blogging for only a couple of weeks I got VERY wrapped up in the numbers game. How many pageviews did I have that day? How many new Instagram followers did I have? How many new Instagram UNFOLLOWERS did I have (totally didn’t know this was a thing until I started blogging :( ).

But then, per usual in my life, I had a great discussion with one of my best friends. She said “Abigail, you need to remember why you started blogging in the first place. What were your goals and objectives? With those goals and objectives, do these numbers you are worrying about really matter?” Wow, talk about some straight truth to knock you back into place. Oh my goodness I have great friends (thanks Laura)! I am not going to lie and say I don’t get excited when I have a great pageview day, or I don’t love seeing new social media followers. But I also am not going to get wrapped up in the comparison game and believe that I am any less of a person because I don’t have the type of “following” that other bloggers may have. We are all different and have wonderful things to offer the blogosphere.

So here is a list of the items I have purchased for my blog in chronological order:

-Blog Design: I know a lot of people would tell you not to waste money on paying a designer. And I know there are a lot of nice templates out there. But I started from 0% knowledge about blogging and knew the only way I would truly do this is if someone made it simple for me, and if I was super proud of the design of my blog. It was going to be really hard for me to promote something I wasn’t really proud of.

-New Laptop: We went from a laptop to a desktop family computer a couple of years ago, and I knew with spending more time “working” from home, I would need a laptop to move from one room to another. I also enjoy the laptop because I am able to go downtown to our local Christian Coffeeshop and write every now and again.

-Thank you cards: This is the third and final thing on my list folks and honestly probably the most important. I had my blog logo printed on shimmery white cardstock and I write personal cards to family and friends who have been supporting me through this journey. I started out doing this as something nice for the recipient, but it has ended up being so gratifying for me. With every single card that I write I find myself remembering WHY I decided to start blogging and WHY I am so grateful to have a blog and WHY the time and effort I put into something that brings me no revenue is so so SO good for my soul. I don’t know a person in the world who doesn’t enjoy a good old fashioned thank you every now and again. Rather you decide to physically write thank you cards, or maybe you decide to send an email or a text or give someone a call or take them out for coffee. However you decide to thank the people in your lives for their support is up to you. It has been so great for me to sit down and identify the people that I want to thank and exactly what I want to thank them for. The cards take so little time and effort, but I have been given numerous compliments from the people I have sent them to.

In summary, here are the three key points in How to Practice Gratitude in Order to Truly Appreciate Blogging:

-Remember your WHY. Striving for and/or reaching your goals and objectives gauges your success, not your numbers.

-”Comparison is the thief of joy”- Theodore Roosevelt said that one and I think Theo had the right idea.

-”There is always ALWAYS something to be thankful for”- Ann Voskamp. Ann is my writing inspiration. Check out her blog over at www.aholyexperience.com and also read her book One Thousand Gifts: A Dare To Live Fully Right Where You Are- I’m not trying to tell you how to live your life, but really her writing is food for the soul. Write thank you cards, make gratitude lists, count your blessings. Make sure to remember the benefits and blessings your blog is bringing to your life or the lives of others.

Thanks so much for reading my article. I truly appreciate it! If you would like to read more, please check out my blog Acreage of Grace at www.acreageofgrace.blogspot.com. You can also find me on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest!

the secrets to a happy marriage

Today marks 8 months of marriage for my husband and I. It doesn't seem real that time has gone that quickly. My brother got engaged in June, and will be married in November (just like us!) and it reminded me of how fast those 4 months flew by. The next 4 months will be no exception, and, just like that… our first year will be behind us. 

As I was pondering this, I stopped to read a list that we have framed on our wall. The list is from Clay's grandpa and was a wedding present for us. Every time I read it, I love and cherish it even more. So much so, that I decided to share it with you all. Sometimes the best advice is the the most simple advice… and from your grandpa. 

*copied as written 

Some Advice From experience. About marriage. 

1. The whole thing is based on trust. It's the cement that holds a marriage together. 

2. Marriage is not a "me thing it's a we thing!"Always, always consider each others perception. 

3. As the years fly by don't get so lost in the work a day mundane activities of daily life to keep your love fresh and alive. 

4. It's terribly important, as you grow older, to continually tell each other how much you love each other, need each other, appreciate each other. 

5. When you run into a rough patch, and you will, reflect back on what and why you fell with each other at the start. 

6. Always be able to honestly say "I'm sorry."

7. Communicate. Talk to each other and listen to each others concerns. Remember this is a partnership. 

8. Don't take marriage for granted. It's a living, breathing thing. It's like a garden, it needs maintenance. It has to be fertilized, weeded, watered, nourished in order to grow and thrive. Otherwise, it will die. 

9. Trust me, if you follow these instructions, your love for one another will grow deeper and deeper as the years go by. 

10. Finally, refer to this list as often as necessary. 

I hope that in 50 years we can pass on what we have learned about marriage. Something tells me that this list will be true, even then. 

Clay's grandma and grandpa 

Six Month Recap: On Becoming a Team

We recently celebrated our six month (married) anniversary. Well, not so much celebrated, more so acknowledged. I realize it's not a huge milestone, but what is amazing to me is how quickly the time has gone by. So, in honor of that, I wanted to (re)share a piece I wrote with Her View on here today!

On Becoming a Team

“And then we can take it back to your house.”

“You mean our house.”

 “We should go see my family.”
  “Yes, I would like to see our family, too.”

 “I don’t know how I’ll be able to keep paying this student loan payment…”

 “You don’t need to figure it out, we will figure it out and take care of it.”

I have officially been married for four months now. To be honest, it seems like years ago that we stood in front of our friends and family. But it was four months. Sixteen weeks. In terms of time, it’s been nothing!

 

And it’s also been everything.

The above is just a snippet of conversations that have happened in that short time period since we said “I do.” And you can recognize the obvious trend. Marriage is so many things, I’ve discovered. It’s comforting. It’s funny. It’s full of love. It’s daily effort. It’s joyful. It’s constant communication. And it’s becoming a team. I love the idea of us being a team. The first time I heard my husband make this proclamation, I felt a sense of peace and belonging. But it wasn’t until my husband was constantly correcting me that I realized… I’m playing this game but I’m not even letting myself be a part of the team. Our team.

Since the moment I graduated high school and hit the road, I have desperately wanted to be independent. I worked almost full time through college to pay my own rent. Buy my own groceries. Have fun with my friends on the weekends. Luckily, my parents were there to bail me out whenever a crisis struck. Typically in the form of me destroying whatever car I was driving. (Sorry Dad!) But I digress. I wanted to say I did it on my own. I hated asking my parents for money when I came up short. And it didn’t just apply to my checking account. I wanted to make the right decisions. I didn’t want to just survive on my own, I wanted to thrive. And I wanted to show everyone that I did it without help.

My oh my, old habits are hard to break.

Ten years later, I still swallow hard when I realize I can’t do something on my own. Even in the years directly prior to becoming a married women, I still had to ask for help from time to time. And it never got easier.

And now, here I am, apart of a new team. On this team, I am not alone. In fact, my husband reminds me regularly that “we are a team.” Sometimes this makes me laugh. But most of the time, it makes my heart explode with love.

For years, I had no idea how much stress I put on myself to do everything on my own. To try to stomach every hurt. Carry every burden. To please everyone with my decisions. To be there when I was needed. It wasn’t until I started to let myself sink into the comfort of “our team” that I realized, truly realized, why two are better than one.

And because of it, I have so much more love. Surrounding me, given to me, and that I can give.

I clearly can’t claim to be an expert on marriage. Time or experience certainly doesn’t allow. But I would like to say of this simple thing I have learned:

To those of you who are seeking your “teammate.”

All things aside, look for the one who always has your back.

 Look for the one who puts you first in every situation.

And finally, look for the one who will stand next to you and gently remind you (however many times it takes) that together, you two are the ultimate team.

These days, I get a lot of practice telling people how married life is going. Naturally, it’s the number one question I get asked in this period of our lives. And yes, while I want to discuss how amazing marriage has been, from now on, I think I’ll simply smile and say “I’m on my forever team.” And really, that says it all. 

**Article originally appeared HERE. 




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Thursday Thoughts

I thought I would change it up this week and bring you an edition of "Thursday Thoughts,"... because the truth is, I have about 10 posts in draft form that I do not have time to finish right now. :) Just real life stuff.

As much as I love my job, I sometimes wish I could be a full-time stay at home dog mom/blogger! That would be the life. But also, probably not for me.


Anyways, here are some of the things that I've run across this week that I want to share with you all!

| Ibotta App

This is an app that allows you to find frequently purchased items (milk, eggs, bread) at most major stores (grocery, gas, retail, etc.) and then add them to your dashboard. (Sort of like Target's cartwheel app if you are familiar). When you check out, you simply take a scan of your receipt and watch the savings pile up! And you get it back.. IN CASH! No gift cards, no coupons. Straight cash! I have had it for just a couple weeks and I already have $15 in my account just from buying basic items that I would have purchased anyways. $15 isn't a lot, but... it's $15 I wouldn't have had otherwise! Totally cool app, download it for free on your phone!

| Dog bathing

Um... least favorite activity. Usually my husband takes care of this and does it SO much better than I can do, but lately Brick has been rolling in a lot of unfavorable substances outside. I don't know where or how he always finds it, but it calls for an immediate bath. And not always when Clay is home! Brick despises bath time. Showers or bathtubs are out because he tries to escape the whole time. Does anyone have any suggestions for the dog who HATES water?! Check out this face....

| Freaky tornado weather

A tornado basically happened in Omaha yesterday. It was not super close to my location, but my co workers and I definitely saw funnel clouds outside and had to take shelter. I always try to talk myself out of the fear, but tornado weather is so creepy.

| Hot topics.

So I typically (read: never) talk about controversial issues on the blog. And to be honest, I don't discuss them in real life, either. Unless it's with someone I feel close and safe with. I hate controversy and I think there is more to life than whether you agree or disagree with someone about hot topics. But in light of all of the constant posts on Facebook and other social media about transgender/bathroom issues, a friend posted this on Facebook and I was just like...yes. YES! This is the bottom line. Read the article.


| Life

I'll leave you with this sign I saw and snapped a pic of. Because apparently this gloomy weather is making me extra introspective as of late. Ha!

Happy Thursday!

Dear 18 Year Old Me...

An actual picture of me in study hall :)

I bet right now you are sitting in study hall and thinking about how in a few short months you will graduate, move out, and be free!

And the freedom will be A-MAZING. Long gone will be the days when you have a midnight (or 11 p.m. on weeknights) curfew. You are probably imagining all the fun you will have between 1 and 5 a.m. Lord knows that’s when the best stuff happens! And all of the new guys you will meet. And all of the parties you will go to that the parental units previously ruled out. Just imagining it all is probably making the time move even more slowly.

The reality is, time doesn’t move as slowly as you think it does. In the blink of an eye, 10 years will have passed. So hear me out. I have a few things I want you to know.

Choose your actions carefully

It’s okay to not know who or what you want as an 18-year-old. In fact, it is really the only state of mind you can possibly be in. But while you are exploring and making new and independent decisions, remember that your words and your actions always impact people. And it may be years down the road before you know how deeply you have hurt someone. So take a cue from me, weigh your words heavily. Weigh your actions even more. Some things simply cannot be taken back.

Make your own decisions

I know you are stubborn, but surprisingly, you love to let others impact how you want to live your life. Stop! Stop doing what other people think  “seems like a good idea.” News flash: this is usually because it benefits them the most. Figure out the things that you love (you already know what they are, they have never changed!) and do them. Don’t let small obstacles stand in your way. I promise you will end up doing them either way, just a few years behind schedule. Save yourself the trouble.

Enjoy your roommates

I know… after awhile, it’s hard cohabitating with 3-5 other people who all have different opinions about which way the toilet paper goes. And the proper temperature for a household. And how to load the dishwasher. But trust me, they are teaching you a great lesson in the future. And I promise you, as each year passes, it becomes harder and harder to find two hours to even have dinner together! Cherish the days when you see these wonderful people more hours per day than you will per year. Plus, you could probably learn a thing or two from them. You actually don’t know everything.

Don’t Settle

Remember all of the nerdy romance books you used to read as a pre-teen? Well…it’s not going to be like that. But guess what?  It can be a little bit. Stop settling for options that aren’t even close. I know he seems nice. I know he seems like he has good intentions. But deep down, you know that something isn’t right. When you get that feeling, it’s time to move on. I promise you, you are totally fine on your own. Plus, heads up, you are going to meet someone who would rather die than ever make you cry. Don’t give up until it’s him.

Lose the Expectations

I know you are assuming you are going to get married at 22. And I know you think that there will be a baby on the way a few years later. Those are really nice thoughts, but they aren’t your story. Some of your friends will make this a reality, and when you hold their sweet babies, you may feel like you will never have what they do. And it may sting a little. But guess what? I’m not going to tell you to stop feeling that way. However, you must understand that God’s timing is perfect. And no matter how many times you hear this, it won’t feel perfect until you are standing where I am. But you will believe it then, and it will be worth it.

I wanted to include that if you would just listen to me (or maybe your mom!) it would make a lot of things easier. But I know you, and I know you prefer to learn things the hard way.

And you know what? That’s okay. The hard times will make you stronger. Your bad decisions will make you wiser. And all of those things together will make you overwhelmingly thankful to stand where I am today.

Good Luck!

Love,

Your Future Self

*this originally appeared on Her View From Home 

Selfie Destruction

I wanted to make a quick post to share this...

I know that I get caught up in what I think MY body needs to look like, how many times I should be working out per week, what I should be eating, etc. And on many days, I wind up with a strong feeling of guilt, and sometimes defeat, when I can't achieve those goals.

Ladies (and guys!).. what we do or do not do ALWAYS matters. I say this because in "our world" of instant gratification and posting pictures, comments, and statuses, I think we have started to forget how this impacts others.

My beautiful and talented friend Roxanne, of Simply(fit) girls, wrote this fantastic post about "Selfie Destruction." CLICK HERE to read it now!

Think before you post!