Trust

My thoughts today are a little bit scattered, but I can’t get some of them out of my mind. In recent conversation with some (important) people in my life, the concept of truly trusting God was discussed. This is such a cliché topic in terms of advice giving. Basically any problem or complaint you have can be stifled by a simple “trust God!” But when I started to think about it, the honest truth is that it doesn’t always make me feel better. What started to bother me about this though, is why? Why does that not make us feel better? Why does that not take away the fear, doubt or concern that accompanies the pain and lack of understanding we encounter in life? I am not saying this is accurate for everyone, but is it because most of us do not understand God’s capabilities and love for us enough to truly give it all up to Him? Is the real problem a true lack of trust?

If you identify yourself as a Christian and are truly seeking God’s will in your life, then it would seem that putting your complete trust in God is a no-brainer. If you are anything like me, this is also the most difficult thing to do. For some unknown reason, I often times think my ideas are better. I know me, after all, so why wouldn’t I know what’s best for me? The fact of the matter is that God knows me better than I know myself. He created me. The things I need, want, desire, hope for, strive for…he put all of those feelings in motion. And not only that, but he knows how to satisfy them. When I think about God knowing me, and knowing me so intimately (Psalm 139:13-14 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well) it is comforting to me. In terms of trusting God, for myself, I cannot identify with a God who “just knows me so well that he knows what is best.” While this is true, it is a hard truth for me to grasp. What I CAN identify with is putting my life, my fears, hopes, concerns and dreams into the hands of a God who loves me more than I can possibly imagine. I have written about this before, but imagining God’s love for us is seemingly impossible. When I think about how deeply my human self is capable of loving, I can only imagine how deeply God loves us. How he created us and adores us, and wants us to give our lives (completely) over to Him so that he can work through us.

You hear it said over and over that trust is the foundation of any relationship, whether it be in the context of family, friends or romance. And this is absolutely true. For anyone who has had their trust broken by someone, this rings especially true. But God is not human, and God is not our old friend, ex boyfriend/girlfriend, or absent family member. God is our creator. He is our ultimate “lover.” He is our Father. 

 So after all of my ramblings, I have to wonder, yet again, how much I am willing to turn over to God. What if I trusted God recklessly? What if I completely abandoned my human fear and doubt and entrusted my inadequacies to a God who has already conquered them? How would that change my life?

I am not perfect. I am not even close enough to perfect to put myself in the same sentence as the word perfect. I struggle to trust God in the smallest areas of life. But each day, I become more aware of how much God loves us, and how he works through our lives when we are willing to let Him.

 In conclusion, I am including lyrics out of the Casting Crowns song “Already There,” because sometimes songs say it best!
From where I'm standing
Lord it's so hard for me to see
Where this is going
And where You're leading me
I wish I knew how
All my fears and all my questions
Are gonna play out
In a world I can't control

Oh, oh

When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there

Oh, oh, oh, oh

From where You're standing
Lord, You see a grand design
That You imagined
When You breathed me into life
And all the chaos
Comes together in Your hands
Like a masterpiece
Of Your picture perfect plan

When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there

One day I'll stand before You
And look back on the life I've lived
I can't wait to enjoy the view
And see how all the pieces fit (x2)

One day I'll stand before You
And look back on the life I've lived
Cause You're already there
You're already there
When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there

You are already there